Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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