some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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