i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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