3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
"it" just moved
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
