We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
