Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
someone owes me an orgasm
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
