You can't special order awesome
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
