You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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