i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
