so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
