It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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