I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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