Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
