just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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