I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
