if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
