Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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