I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
