WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
