I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
