So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
