the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
