I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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