Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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