Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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