the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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