I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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