So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
