What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
