My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
