Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
