I could have mohawked her pubes.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Are we still banned from the library?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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