Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
