I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
