I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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