I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
