It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
