I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
