i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she peed on how many people?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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