I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
