I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
