some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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