carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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