U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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