um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
