I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
