You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
