the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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