ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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