glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
