hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
